Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
