Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Randomize
