Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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