everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
