I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
