Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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