you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
