I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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