The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
My vagina is officially offended.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
