I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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