Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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