I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
