East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize