no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
