i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Randomize
