when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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