fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize