remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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