Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
