Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
