Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
