RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
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