my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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