I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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