Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
