I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
