I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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