That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
