Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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