Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
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