Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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