You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
