So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize