The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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