But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
