I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Randomize
