garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
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