he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
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