People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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