dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
