no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Randomize
