dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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