Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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