Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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