I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
