I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
