You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
