when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
