i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
