I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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