i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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