my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
