He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
