ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
