from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
