We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Randomize
