New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
