I just made out with a guy for $7.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
