if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Randomize
