we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize