Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
operation have a gay friend backfired
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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